Thursday, 16 July 2015

Life Lately

Talk about a blog hiatus! With a six-year old and a baby, pretty much everything else in my life had to take a backseat for a while, including this space which has been sadly neglected for eight months :( After the first nerve-wracking three months with the newborn, just as we were sailing into the new year, life got a bit easier, and at the same time so much more intensive and required my full-on, full-time presence and involvement in everything that was going on in the now household of four.
At the same time, I was slowly getting back to myself, a lot easier this time around than after my first pregnancy, although not without a few hiccups. Taking time to care for myself did the trick. I started pilates in February and I can safely say now that it has made me fell better in my own skin than anything else I tried both before and after the pregnancies. I can really feel the muscles that have come back and, barring the odd spare tire around my waste, that is still persistent in lingering on despite the almost six pack beneath it ;) I feel so much stronger, more flexible and like I own this wondrous instrument that is my body and that it is serving me well. Walking around with the baby in tow for a few kilometers every day helps as well, just as a recent fortnight by the sea did.

Feeling better in my skin did not necessarily come immediately with a better perception of what is looking back at me from the mirror. I still struggle with accepting bits and pieces of my body, face, frame, I still resent some of the aspects of my overall appearance, but I'm slowly edging my way towards more acceptance and love for myself. I have also been trying to be mindful of what I eat and when, and have managed to change some of the bad habits conditioned primarily by the office and long working hours in the past almost ten years. These will now have to stand the test of time as I return to the coalface as of mid September. Pre-menstrual sugar cravings have not subsided, however, and I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be able to lead a sugar-free life.
I've been taking care of my inner well being as well. I am not zen, not yet, nor can I guarantee that I will ever be, but I am a lot calmer and at peace with life than I have been in a long time, or ever when I come to think of it. The baby has taught me even more patience and appreciation for small things that really make the life worth living. I have learned to better control and recognize on time some of the conditioned responses to certain life situations that have taken root and even if I'm not able to prevent them from rearing their ugly heads from time to time at least I'm more conscious of them and I try to minimize the damage they cause.

Reading Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power of Now', gifted by a dear friend, has started a change within that I use to become more mindful of the life that is now, not of what was and what will be, which used to be my primary concerns in the years past. Another eye-opener was the notion that we are not our jobs, our education, our marital status, that who we are is something completely different, something deep inside, that is attuned to other people and the world and that is whole, complete, perfect in itself - we just need to reach that place. I was so hung up for years on looking at myself, and others, through academic excellence or career achievements that I've forgotten the other parts of me, the real me, not depending on the life situation that I am presently at. This is a process however, but I'm in for the ride.
I have managed to spend a bit more time with my friends. But I want more of it in the future as well. Recently, one of my childhood friends, whom I cherish yet spend so little time with, contacted me in the time of need and personal strife and made me feel like I mattered again, like what I had to offer was valuable and appreciated in the hardest of times. Even though the whole situation was nothing to be pleased about, we were both happy that we connected again on such a special level and confirmed the importance of being there for each other at all times.
Reading books, going to the cinema and theater - all have been on my agenda despite two kids at home who need a babysitter. Spending more quality time with the hubby - a just him and me walk here and there, dispatching at least one of the kids with the grandma, we keep trying to make the little time we have for us as good as possible.

Spending 14 days by the sea in Greece with the kids was the highlight of the past nine months. We had so much fun, we were all relaxed and life was easy and lazy, just as the perfect, long June summer days on the beach. It also meant first serious travel for me since the baby was born and I loved every bit of it.
The summer is not over and we'll try to add a few more adventures before September when life will gain warp speed as we prepare for my elder starting school and me going back to work while the babysitter takes care of the little one. Sounds positively scary, but, as I said, no living in the future!
It's my favorite time of the year, the sales have started and I'm into culling my wardrobe and thinking of the outfits to take me through August and allow me and my wardrobe to slowly ease into the more office appropriate looks for the autumn.
Several things on my wish list - all LILU shoes:

All amazing, all sourly missing from my wardrobe, all perfect back-to-school options. I think one of the rubber-soled pointy flats will win and come home with me.
I hope to continue regular posting as I find my way back to this space and my blogging voice.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Fire away - I'd love to hear what you have to say . . .