Friday, 26 October 2012


Love him, hate him, Murakami is one of my favorite writers. I've read almost all of his books, of course translated to English, and the latest 19Q4 in one of the rare excellent Serbian translations. His plot lines and characters are somewhat quaint and sometimes terrifying or overly sentimental as well, but I relish each and every one of them. You get all caught up in the story or remarkable descriptions of scenery and then there are gems like this one:

“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s what part of it means to be alive. But inside our heads — at least that’s where I imagine it — there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in a while, let fresh air in, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live for ever in your own private library.”
— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Circle of Life

News of births and deaths have dominated almost every single day of the past month and a half and it's getting a bit too much for me at this point. Especially as it is that time of the year when the dreaded date of my father's death is approaching and I think of him every day and miss him acutely, physically.

My daughter's birthday is on Saturday and I'm looking forward to it very much, yet I am always so very aware that my father isn't there to celebrate it - or any other family thing - that it messes up my head and I cannot fell 100% happy.

I know I should be grateful for the wonderful family and friends I have and for the rich life I lead, yet I also know that this feeling of loss and of missing an important piece of the whole puzzle is never going to go away. And I can't, I won't fight it.

A childhood friend lost her father last week, a colleague is going through a life-threatening health condition with her father as well and an ex-colleague lost his mother to cancer today. Too much I tell you.

All new little people that came into the world in September and October in my immediate surroundings are doing very well, though, and that I guess is reason enough to be content and at peace with life, fate, destiny, karma, you name it . . .

And for an adequate musical accompaniment, Bastille, Flaws, here. There's a hole in my soul, I can't fill it . . .

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Indian Summer

This will be a picture-heavy post. Not much patience for creative writing at the moment. And all kinds of different topics and musings are welling up within, but I just don't have the requisite nerves to write them down. These pictures show both the outside and my inside, or at least how I would like it to be, colorful, serene, happy ;-)
Edited to add: this is the music playing in the background of my mind - here.

Thursday, 18 October 2012


It seems that the relatively calm waters of my life that have enabled me a somewhat less chaotic existence for the past six months or so are in for a serious storm in the coming period. Things are about to heat up on the home front as the nesting urges voice their protest ever louder and ask for a bigger space. The infamous biological clock is deafening and my daughter is asking for a sibling. All this is related and inter-dependent and all of it is hard and demanding and I'm not sure I have either courage of strength for it, but I'll need to give it a go.

Meanwhile, a few details from a perfect wedding of a dear friend we attended this past weekend.

Outfit combo

  Gladiolas and the view from the wedding party

Bouquet throw
Look to the heavens

That's it for now.


Thursday, 11 October 2012

A quickie

Again, ton of stuff at work, no time to breathe, I feel I'm submerged most of the time in a never-ending stream of e-mails and documents.

Combination of the day: my mom's blouse from the 70s, I love it and have been wearing it since high school, a ZARA cardie and a Swatch necklace, all geometrical and fun, a present from a dear friend.

We have a minty nail situation going on here the whole week ;-)

Photo courtesy of
I just adore men in uniform and this particular picture of the young Prince Harry is . . . um . . . hot!

Plus, I've found a super secret hush-hush website that let's me watch second season of 'Homeland' on the sly! Yaaaay! It's so exciting and dramatic and Carrie is way better that in the first season, while sergeant Brody (now Congressman Brody) is smokin' ;-)

That's it!


Monday, 8 October 2012


It's been a busy one. New haircut, short, to avoid pulling all my hair up and securing it with plastic hair clips or, gasp, even a scrunchie at times. Makes me look haggard and washed out. Short hair suits me and makes me look younger. Hey, I'm 32, need to work out the 'aging gracefully' part! Plus my hair is so grey it needs a color every six weeks and that comes cheaper if your hair is short obviously ;) My daughter approves, my husband as well, friends&colleagues alike, as well as my brother - and he's the harshest critic of them all! My mom - she thinks I'm beautiful no matter what, and that's what moms are there for ;-)

Then there were some sad times and some happy times. A visit to the graveyard to tend to my dad's resting place a bit, bring some flowers, light some candles, cry. It's been almost two years and apart from missing him all the time what I hate the most is this almost palpable feeling that the distance between us is becoming ever greater, that I'm drifting farther and farther away, replaying and reliving memories in  my head until I'm not even sure what I really remember. What I wish for the most is to just hug him one more time.

This was counteracted by life, true, happy existence of kids celebrating a birthday, their laughter unmarred by what is to come, pure and honest, precious. I love my daughter more than any other living being in this world, that goes without saying, but I love my friends' kids a lot as well, as if they were my own. I guess that comes from being close with their parents so much.

And in more happy news, look what landed on my desk this morning! Courtesy of a colleague, via Vienna, 2/3 of its price in Serbia, YSL Touche Eclat, the best concealer&highlighter there is. I'm not fussy about my make-up, but having temperamental skin prone to breakouts I can't experiment too much, so when I find something that works, I stick with it. I've been using this since 2006 and I'm a loyal fan.

Another busy week ahead, colder weather, all irrelevant compared to anxiously waiting for a baby boy to come to this world today and a friend to shine at her wedding this coming weekend.



Friday, 5 October 2012

How much is too much?

This relates to the volume of writing I have been doing this week. Unfortunately it's 'technical' writing as it is quarterly reporting time at work and that entails spinning a rather tall tale on everything that my colleagues have been doing in the past three months. On the one hand it's quite tedious and pedantic work, on the other I find it soothing and comforting at times as it helps focus my mind in order to be able to produce clear and concise descriptions of different activities spanning such exciting subjects as the judiciary reform and fight against corruption;) The trickiest bit is finding the appropriate measure between the level of detail and the amount of text produced.

Reporting also means less time for creative writing so I apologize for less frequent posting this week.

I leave you with this image of a Belgrade autumn sunset and wish you a nice weekend!


Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Marine Faring

As promised, here is the styling for the Ralph Laurent striped tee I gushed about several posts ago. It's rather mundane I would say - a marine themed bracelet and a clashing print scarf, but in a similar color way. The drab colors of the morning didn't inspire me to aim for more experimentation. I'm pleased overall, although I have to think of more ways to style the tee in a more attractive manner.

The VAT has gone up, the prices are sky-high and I sense an interesting winter coming up full of recycling, up-cycling and general belt-tightening activities ;-)


Monday, 1 October 2012


Transitioning lives, transitioning roles, transitioning adulthood - I am recently more acutely aware of all these different aspects of everyday than at other times.

Several of my close and dear friends have either had their lives undergo this remarkable transition called 'child' or are about to undergo one real soon (the stork's been a frequent visitor of many in my immediate vicinity these past moths). Becoming a parent - the most beautiful and yet most difficult and challenging task for any human, at least from my perspective. That is the final act of transition from youth to adulthood. From being a girl, girlfriend, wife to being a mother - the single most important role that will define you until the day you die. No less responsibility or weight in becoming a father as well.

A fairy tale for adults

Another dear friend will walk down the aisle (although she is technically married already ;-), and confirm her oneness with a man she loves before God and before all who matter in their lives. A tremendous transition for any woman. A commitment that is supposed to last a lifetime (and fingers crossed in all earnest it will).

All these things happened to me several years ago, yet whenever they happen to another friend I re-live them and feel joy as well as sadness a bit for myself and for all of us together. Joy for everyone moving forward in their lives and making changes that lead to best possible results - children. Sadness as each wedding and each new child also move us farther away from our careless youths and simple lives that were so full of potential and possibilities, yet so unchartered and new only a few years ago.

These transitioning times also make me realize with more certainty than ever before that I am so lucky to be here to witness all the change and share with everyone I hold dear and special. It also makes me acutely aware of how I lived through my own experience of becoming a mother with very much mixed feelings and sadness over an illness that will eventually take my father. It also makes me cherish more the time we spent together and the fact that he stuck around long enough to meet his granddaughter.

Marriages and new children of my relatives and friends expand this circle of beautiful people with which I share my life and with which I wish my family is surrounded at all times. This makes me grounded and content with the life I have. It also makes all kinds of transitions much easier.