Thursday, 25 October 2012

Circle of Life

News of births and deaths have dominated almost every single day of the past month and a half and it's getting a bit too much for me at this point. Especially as it is that time of the year when the dreaded date of my father's death is approaching and I think of him every day and miss him acutely, physically.

My daughter's birthday is on Saturday and I'm looking forward to it very much, yet I am always so very aware that my father isn't there to celebrate it - or any other family thing - that it messes up my head and I cannot fell 100% happy.

I know I should be grateful for the wonderful family and friends I have and for the rich life I lead, yet I also know that this feeling of loss and of missing an important piece of the whole puzzle is never going to go away. And I can't, I won't fight it.

A childhood friend lost her father last week, a colleague is going through a life-threatening health condition with her father as well and an ex-colleague lost his mother to cancer today. Too much I tell you.

All new little people that came into the world in September and October in my immediate surroundings are doing very well, though, and that I guess is reason enough to be content and at peace with life, fate, destiny, karma, you name it . . .

And for an adequate musical accompaniment, Bastille, Flaws, here. There's a hole in my soul, I can't fill it . . .

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