Rest & Relaxation

This is where I'll be spending the next few days (pictures taken in the summer, but still, illustrative enough). It's my husband's grandparents' place, in a small village with mainly old people where little happens, little is of urgent importance, little stirs the spirit so that one should feel burdened or stressed. It's just quiet, slow living and being, in that place, at that time, without any particular aim or purpose.

There will be pork roast, there will be home made cakes, and my four-year old daughter spending quality time with her great grandparents while they are still around (both are pushing 90, kudos to them). The best thing for me is waking up in the morning and smelling the frosty November chill and fresh air.

It's a place with a soul, a rich family history which my child is a part of and at one point in time she will be 'the heiress' of the whole thing in a position to decide its destiny so I want her to grow up knowing all about it and appreciating it fully.

I'm bringing a book (Paul Auster's 'Timbuktu', had it for a while but never got around to reading it) with me but I can't promise I won't stop by for a few gossip rags to let my brain chew on meaningless stuff with a cup of coffee.
Have a nice weekend!


XOXO
Mimi

Keep Calm and Carry On

Life's too busy and complicated at this moment for me able to think straight let alone write.Or rather, I have to think straight a lot. Work's busy, home's busy, important events occurring every weekend with more looming ahead - a cousin's wedding, visit to my husband's grandparents and most importantly and sadly the second anniversary of my father's death. October was hectic, November even more so and then comes the New Year and the new cycle of this race called life.

My stress coping mechanisms go on and off from day to day, I feel as if I am about to have a complete melt down more than once every day but somehow I keep it together. Trying to enjoy life in the process seems more of a chore than the way it should be because at times I am also overburdened with this never ending quest for happiness and the 'you have to be happy' imperative that we seem to impose on ourselves. It's ok not to be happy all the time, methinks. That takes so much energy and effort.

What I long for the most is the balance. The balance in thoughts, feelings, actions. That is the state I'm after and for the life of me I cannot vouch that it will be attainable ever in my case. But I'm working on it.

For all those who enjoy heightened emotions and drama in life, love and espionage, have a go at 'Moskva kva-kva' ('Moscow ow ow', as translated in English) by Vasily Aksyonov. A somewhat ridiculous spy thriller describing how Tito and Stalin plotted against each other back in the 50s is sprinkled with a proper amount of romance and makes for a good weekend read.







I leave you with a few images of Belgrade in autumn that I love and that make me feel like I'm in Paris . . . Minus the flashy, improperly parked cars, that just scream 'Belgrade baby' ;-)

 

XOXO
Mimi

p.s. edited to add:

 I want the cute rain boots ;-)

Murakami

Love him, hate him, Murakami is one of my favorite writers. I've read almost all of his books, of course translated to English, and the latest 19Q4 in one of the rare excellent Serbian translations. His plot lines and characters are somewhat quaint and sometimes terrifying or overly sentimental as well, but I relish each and every one of them. You get all caught up in the story or remarkable descriptions of scenery and then there are gems like this one:

“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s what part of it means to be alive. But inside our heads — at least that’s where I imagine it — there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in a while, let fresh air in, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live for ever in your own private library.”
 

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Circle of Life

News of births and deaths have dominated almost every single day of the past month and a half and it's getting a bit too much for me at this point. Especially as it is that time of the year when the dreaded date of my father's death is approaching and I think of him every day and miss him acutely, physically.

My daughter's birthday is on Saturday and I'm looking forward to it very much, yet I am always so very aware that my father isn't there to celebrate it - or any other family thing - that it messes up my head and I cannot fell 100% happy.

I know I should be grateful for the wonderful family and friends I have and for the rich life I lead, yet I also know that this feeling of loss and of missing an important piece of the whole puzzle is never going to go away. And I can't, I won't fight it.

A childhood friend lost her father last week, a colleague is going through a life-threatening health condition with her father as well and an ex-colleague lost his mother to cancer today. Too much I tell you.

All new little people that came into the world in September and October in my immediate surroundings are doing very well, though, and that I guess is reason enough to be content and at peace with life, fate, destiny, karma, you name it . . .






And for an adequate musical accompaniment, Bastille, Flaws, here. There's a hole in my soul, I can't fill it . . .

Indian Summer

This will be a picture-heavy post. Not much patience for creative writing at the moment. And all kinds of different topics and musings are welling up within, but I just don't have the requisite nerves to write them down. These pictures show both the outside and my inside, or at least how I would like it to be, colorful, serene, happy ;-)
Edited to add: this is the music playing in the background of my mind - here.

Challenges

It seems that the relatively calm waters of my life that have enabled me a somewhat less chaotic existence for the past six months or so are in for a serious storm in the coming period. Things are about to heat up on the home front as the nesting urges voice their protest ever louder and ask for a bigger space. The infamous biological clock is deafening and my daughter is asking for a sibling. All this is related and inter-dependent and all of it is hard and demanding and I'm not sure I have either courage of strength for it, but I'll need to give it a go.

Meanwhile, a few details from a perfect wedding of a dear friend we attended this past weekend.

Outfit combo
















 

  Gladiolas and the view from the wedding party

Bouquet throw

Look to the heavens
















That's it for now.

XOXO
Mimi

A quickie

Again, ton of stuff at work, no time to breathe, I feel I'm submerged most of the time in a never-ending stream of e-mails and documents.

Combination of the day: my mom's blouse from the 70s, I love it and have been wearing it since high school, a ZARA cardie and a Swatch necklace, all geometrical and fun, a present from a dear friend.

We have a minty nail situation going on here the whole week ;-)

Photo courtesy of http://bourbonandpearls.blogspot.com/

I just adore men in uniform and this particular picture of the young Prince Harry is . . . um . . . hot!


















Plus, I've found a super secret hush-hush website that let's me watch second season of 'Homeland' on the sly! Yaaaay! It's so exciting and dramatic and Carrie is way better that in the first season, while sergeant Brody (now Congressman Brody) is smokin' ;-)

That's it!

XOXO
Mimi